Tuesday, January 19, 2010

What's in a Name?

I've got about ten minutes before I have to go pick Jack up at the bus stop. Jack "up" is something you can say. Jack "off" not so much. Didn't think about that one when discussing baby names. Dave was more concerned about names that he attributed to "paste-eaters". As in, "(insert name here.....even I am not going to touch this one with a ten-foot pole) eats paste". Okay, apparently "Jack" is a sufficiently sturdy, basic, non-paste eating, "guy" name. We both liked it. We did not discuss the fact that saying "I'm going to drop Jack off" makes you giggle. I find myself saying, "I'm going to drop Jack at school", thus leaving the offending "off" out of the picture. Then there's the "Hi Jack!" which post 9/11 was to be avoided at all costs. People were rather humorless during that period of time. Even now, airports can be problematic as his name is actually John. I have NO earthly idea why we did that. Actually, I'll admit that was all my idea. I was pregnant. Pregnant equals crazy, at least where I'm concerned. He has never and probably WILL never be referred to as John in his life, so all it serves to do is cause confusion. The TSA agents will ask him what his name is and you kind of have to hit him to remind him to say "John" which probably doesn't look all that good. Especially when traveling with an Albanian husband. Albanians are of a suspiciously ambiguous ethnic appearance. The one good thing about it is that he can "pass" as many things. Indian reservation? We're good. Hell, when I first started dating Dave, my sorority sisters said, "Oh MY GOD.....Mollie is dating some big INDIAN DUDE!" To this day I'm not sure if they meant American Indian or India Indian. Hmmm. Could go either way! Hawaii? People are nice to you even if you're a Hoolie 'cause you're with a native. Oh, and that nickname, "Pancho"? I'm pretty sure his fraternity brothers did not bestow it upon him because he looked Swedish. You just can't really put your finger on an Albanian. But you can sure try. In all fairness, who the hell has ever seen one OUTSIDE of Albania? Well, I have. And trust me. There's enough of a question that if I didn't know him and saw him hitting his ten-year old kid upside the head with a boarding pass in the security line and informing him that his name was "John", I might be considering alternate means of travel. Oh look! It's four o'clock. Better stop jacking around. Bwahahahaaaaaa.......see what I mean? 

(c) 2010
Copyright (c) by Mollie Christie, 2010 all rights reserved.

1 comment:

  1. Albanian? Well wtf knew? How many Albanians are called DAVE CHRISTIE... oh you're kidding right? Sorry, not awake yet.