Thursday, January 7, 2010
Praise the LORD.
I've got a PTA meeting next week. First one since the big scandal over my blog erupted. I'm thinking I'm going to stand up and issue a tearful apology. Blame my antics on sex addiction ('cause that seems to be a catchall for any perceived wrong -doing). Or I could claim I was rendered temporarily insane as I was bitten by a tsetse fly while hiking the Appalachian Trail. Doesn't matter that they're not indigenous to the United States. It just sounds good. So, I'm thinking that after the tearful apology, during which I will break down several times and claim that I've found Jesus, I'm just going to walk out. When begged to stay.....I'll just sadly shake my head......"I...I can't.....". I of course have absolutely ZERO remorse for ANYTHING I said in regards to the PTA. I would (and WILL!) do it all over again. 'Cause if you think about it, there is a HELL of a lot that is freakin' funny about the PTA. The enthusiastic person who bitched to the principal regarding my thoughts (oh, and was offended that I made fun of "mom jeans".....sorry, you wear mom jeans and you've got it comin' sister) has actually done me a service. Not only am I out for next year (woo-hoo!!!!) but I'm thinking my dramatic exit from the meeting will spring me just before I need to file my second membership report! I'm also thinking that whoever it was that "reported" me should HAPPILY step into my shoes!!!!! It's really, really fun. I love filing tedious reports! And as my final act, I'll even give you my PTA lanyard identifying me as the membership chair. That's power, right there. Makes all of the other mommies feel inadequate. Enjoy, bitch!!!!!