Monday, January 11, 2010


When you first meet somebody and you do the little butt-sniffing dance during which you reveal the basic facts of your existence, the inevitable kid question comes up. 

New Person: Do you have kids?

Me: Yep!

NP: How many?

Me: One

NP: *looks at me like a I must be some kind of weirdo*

It's almost like I said "none" to the sort of person that simply cannot understand why people would NOT want to have kids. As if that makes them monsters of the very first order. I didn't plan on having one kid. It seems that most people gravitate towards the number of children in their family of origin when they imagine their future clan. I thought I'd like to have two. Boy and a girl, of course. Well, it seems that the universe gives you what you can handle. I LOVE having one kid. And I love that that one kid is a boy. He's the perfect kid for me and I wouldn't want it any other way. In general, people don't get it. It's like you're not officially a family unless you have multiple offspring. Like you have no idea what it's "REALLY" like. Trust me. We're a family. Just without all of the fightin'. Well, amongst children, anyway. And the chaos. Oh wait.....scratch that. That's where I come in. Our lives would be chaotic with NO children thanks to yours truly. I crave order yet inexplicably seem to cause mayhem to spontaneously break out. My child does not seem to suffer from lack of siblings. In fact, when asked if he ever wishes he had a brother or sister, he says, "GOD NO!!!!". And he's a remarkably well-adjusted and kind little chap. Never had any sharing issues or any of the other stereo-typical "only-child" traits. He's got a lot of "stuff" but he's not spoiled. To me, spoiled is about quality of personality rather than quantity of posessions. I'm proud of the little guy. There are plenty of ways to be a family..........ours is just a little small. Which is good 'cause I don't think the world could handle anymore of my offspring. It's safer this way.


  1. I hear you on the conversation. Some
    look at me when I say I have just one like I am some sort of alien... but one is what I was gifted with and like you I adore my son. He is an amazing gift everyday and despite doing normal 16 year old things he also does something every week that shows me what a wonderful human being I have raised.

    There are days where I wish I had more of him. I am an excellent mother but this is my lot in life... the baby factory is closed.

    I get the same look from people when they ask me if I am married and I tell them no.... I had two successful marriages that both ended.

    LOL... love this life and people.. well they make me laugh.

  2. Holy crap......I posted this on FB and one of my friends who is also the parent of one son commented that he could not figure out what people with tons of kids were thinking. Another friend pointed out that "It's a uterus, not a clown car!!!!" Had to share.......that was good.......

  3. Feck 'em Mollie... it's nobody's buisness how many kids you have. God knows, if you said like '13' you would get weird looks too. What is it with some folks?, always got to stick their twat in somewhere. Downright rude too imnsho!

  4. I have three kids, and on any given day I wish I had 1, none, or 10. Everyone is too quick to define a family: gay, straight, step mommy, tranny dad,Precious, Brangelina one from each column, grandmom with a crack baby, or the nuclear perfect dream in a 4BR 2.5bath colonial ....just love em and raise em so they are not screwed up and hurt my kids...otherwise its all what you have.

  5. Unless you name all of your 15 plus children with a name that starts with "j"..then all bets are off and you are whacked.

  6. Mollie, I am in my kitchen laughing my ass off with a glass of wine. First because you are funny as hell and second because the car I had before this one was a little red Hyundai and I called it the "clown car" because when my tall friends got in it they looked like clowns folding into the circus car.

    I have a whole new outlook on my uterus... hahahahaha....

  7. I love having one daughter! She is ten and I imagine someday she might be on the velvet couch talking about me but I am doing my most excellent best and love have a little bug to run and ski with. I am one and done! And make her work for most of the delicious things in life she can do. Not a brat but sometimes sassy!
    Love your blog! Mine is not funny or witty...just what happening in around Princeton, NJ.. Design and garden stuff but I have to laugh too, so thanks for giving me that opportunity!