Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Careful What You Wish For

Dave has been working at the library when he does not venture downtown to his new office. It has finally occurred to him that working out of the house is not really an ideal situation. Perhaps me screaming, "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU ARE DRIVING ME NUTS" was the final straw. It's not that I don't like Dave. He's a perfectly nice person.  I would just prefer that until he is retired (TWENTY FIVE YEARS FROM NOW), he is at an office during the day. Or somewhere. It's just not healthy.  How am I supposed to eat bon bons and watch TV all day if he's around judging? I'm pretty sure the term "house wife" implies that the "house" in question is the "wife's" domain. I don't think there are many people out there that would dig it if their significant other was at their office all day. It wasn't really working for either one of us. I'm sure my shitty attitude about his presence was not endearing me to him. So anyway, if he's not at the office, he's at the library. Strangely, there seem to be other exiled husband's there as well. We even know some of them! One of my friends has recently gone back to school, so she has been going to the library too. So there's quite the faction from my 'hood hanging out at the local 'brary. It's kind of like The Breakfast Club......Middle-Aged Edition. I imagine them lobbing spit balls at one another and stuff when they start feeling squirrely. As I vaguely recall, libraries will do that to you. I was in college for nine years during which time I visited the library approximately twice. I probably stumbled in accidentally. "Excuse, me.....where is the bar?" There wasn't one. Didn't like it. These guys are fine with it so far it seems. Although after what transpired on Monday, I am thinking they might be better off sharing office space somewhere. Dave was walking by a bay of computers and noticed some weird dude sitting there WATCHING PORN. There were little kids running around. PORN???? At the library???? So alert citizen Dave Christie reports the guy to the librarian who says that as long as his "privacy screen" was up, there wasn't anything she could do. EXCUSE ME? Obviously his privacy screen wasn't all that private. "Private" implies that nobody else can see it. Dave saw it. Granted, he probably told him to scoot over but that's beside the point. What kind of freak goes to the public library and watches PORN? Then it occurred to me. He probably used to be a perfectly normal work-at-home real estate broker/rock star until his bitch-ass wife kicked him out of the house during the day. Uh-oh. 


  1. Recently unemployed, coming to roost with a long invalided out so stay-at-home mate... I'm on HIS territory now. But he's receded into his own wee office and I have the desk in the l'room... sigh. We take turns at cooking (me, not often enough I'm told) but the trick is to avoid each other until necessary (witness the barney that breaks out every time he sneaks down for coffee ;) ).

  2. You have no Idea how much I feel you... ummm 3 years!