Monday, January 18, 2010

Crappy Driver Day

Well, well, well. It seems that every crappy driver within a 15-mile radius of my house has decided that MLK Day is the perfect opportunity to show-off their less than mad driving skilz. Granted, my annoyance with my fellow drivers is not helped by the fact that I am usually somewhat agitated before I even get out of my neighborhood. This is owing to the fact that I have to naviagate my way over or around a series of speed bumps the size of water buffaloes. I've talked about this before. I won't go there because a) you've already heard it and b) I would really prefer to keep my blood pressure out of "HOLY SHIT I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK" range.

So anyway, I am heading off to Pilates, just doing my usual house-wifey, lady of leisure (HA! Hardly....) thing when some jackass pulls out in front of me. Now, I get that sometimes you just don't see somebody. I've done it myself. But to pull out in front of me and then proceed to drive approximately 20 miles below the posted speed limit? Clearly you are no hurry, so why in the name of God did you nearly t-bone me in an attempt to get out in front of me? Please do not mind the fact that I am now driving up your ass.

Next (and this is where it really gets good). I am turning right in one of those "yield" situations. Curbs on both sides. The two cars in front of me stop. An old lady in the first car GETS OUT and proceeds to have a conversation with the person in the car behind her. AM I NOT SITTING HERE?????? Jesus. And I'm stuck there. Laying on the horn did not seem to alert these people to the fact that this was not social hour at the local retirement village. It's a STREET! Crazy people should not be allowed to drive. Driving is not a right. It's a privilege. If you're too freakin' old to understand that you CANNOT STOP YOUR CAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AND GET OUT you should not be driving. Where are the cops when shit like THIS happens? Sure, I get a ticket for going 45 in a 35 but this loon gets away Scot-free.

And while I'm at it, I would like to point out to the fine citizens of the great state of Colorado that when you are on a highway, THE LEFT LANE IS A PASSING LANE. If you would like to drive 50 mph, that is just jim dandy but that is what the RIGHT lane is for. I can therefore use the LEFT lane to get around you. Left=Fast. Right=Slow. It's really that simple, but somehow that seems to have gotten past many of the drivers in my state who obviously have not been informed of this useful tidbit. Drives me freakin' nuts.  There. I'm done. And I'm not going out again today, so these clowns can drive around in circles for the duration for all I care. Be forewarned.......they're out there.

(c) 2010

Copyright (c) by Mollie Christie, 2010 all rights reserved.

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