Friday, November 20, 2009
You Be in the WRONG Bidness, Beyotch
Hospitality: I'm pretty sure it means you're supposed to be hospitable. Like, um.....nice? I've had the occasion recently to enjoy some frankly hostile service. When you enter an establishment, shouldn't the first person you see make you think that they're actually happy that you've crossed the threshold? And if not happy, at least not pissed? Maybe I'm mistaken and "Oh great.....it's you and now we've got to stay open past 8pm" is the vibe that most restaurants are aiming for. That may in fact be one of the first things emphasized in hotel and restaurant management programs. I think that's the surly attitude that made Disney such a successful company! I think Mickey Mouse goes around kicking babies and shit. And I'm pretty sure they try to hire kids with as miserable a look about them as possible. You've of course heard of "The Disney Scowl". Oh WAIT......that's right!!!!! They are NICE to their guests!!!!! They make it seem like they are God damned, slap your grandma, happy to see your sorry ass! Because you ARE PAYING TO BE THERE. I have become so accustomed to be being treated poorly that I assumed that ALL establishments wish you would just hurry it up, choke it down and get the fuck out. And call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure that wondering if your waitress dropped her dentures in your drink because you asked for a lime is not what most restaurants hope their guests are thinking during their dining experience. "Hmmmm......I wonder who's putting what in my food back there and why" is not a reassuring sentiment when eating out. It's called service. That's what you are there for. If you cannot be even reasonably pleasant and cannot walk around without looking like you'd like to strangle a kitten, or better yet a patron, you seriously need to look elsewhere for a job. As hospitality ain't your bag, baby. It's baaaaaad for business.