Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Grave Miscalculation

While enjoying the wacky banter that ensued during the hotly contested "Family Game Time" this afternoon, I fucked up.  Big time.  I rather directly implied that Dave may have some difficulty growing an actual mustache.  This has resulted in the gauntlet being thrown down.  He is going to try it.  And once he wraps himself around an idea, he is like a Pit Bull.  Although he did concede that he was pretty sure that I could grow one faster than he could.  I have not been involved with man with a mustache since high school when my parents weren't paying attention for a little and I was dating a college junior.  With said mustache.  Looked more like a porn-stache, actually.  I don't really even like mustaches, frankly.  Seriously?  A mustache?  A mustache.  Okay.  Nevertheless, it's on.  As some family member attempted to converse with him, he announced, "What?  I'm sorry.....I can't hear you.  My mustache is muffling the sound".  And speaking of muffling, he also announced his intention to offer free "Mustache Rides".  I believe the exact quote was, "Line 'em up ladies". thanks.  And speaking of rides, Jack had an additional little gem as he and Grandma were matching wits at (the way fun domino game) Mexican Train:

Jack:  "I'll give you a free ride to Screwed Town.  Bring it on, Granny".

The fact that everyone found this to be freaking hilarious explains a ton about me and why I is like I is.  It's really not my fault.  Clearly.  And note to self:  Stop insulting Dave's masculinity as it yields undesirable results.  God.  Additional note to self:  Procure bag for head.

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