Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I think I have already established that I was tricked into joining the PTA. They told me it was the Par-TAY-Association.  I was like, "Well alllll riggghhhtt!!!!" and then signed my life away. Well, not really.....it just seems like it.  I feel that I need to start by saying that I actually DO think that the PTA does a lot of good.  I just think there is a better way to do it that would attract cooler people.  I guess I should not have referred to the organization as the "Axis of Evil" several posts back.  It netted me a phone call from the PTA president. Zoinks. Not sure what she wanted 'cause I didn't call her back as I'm a great big chicken but I've got a pretty good guess. Having your membership chair compare your group to nations supportive of terrorism and weapons of mass destruction is probably not helpful.  I will say this: if you want to attract people who in turn are going to bring more people into the PTA you need to rethink how it works.  The ultimate goal would be the same......raising money for your school and being supportive of students and teachers.  I get that.  What I don't get is why you have to have the meetings AT school.  Like at 9 am.  I don't want a "second cup of coffee".  I want to go to pilates.  The sign outside says "Hug and GO", not "Hug and Hang Out". These meetings attract people that seem to have nowhere else to go and noone else to talk to.  And so they want to talk.  And talk.  And talk some more.  To the point where I have been tempted to jump over the table and strangle more than one person. Topics that should be handled in 5 minutes take 30.  And it's because some lonely heart blowhard cannot shut her piehole.  I get that there are isolated people in the world.  I am not without empathy.  And I get that some of these women are still home with  much younger kids.  I know this because they're sitting in their laps screeching and/or running amuck during these meetings.  I remember what that is like. It's not all shits and grins.  Well, shits, yes.  Grins, not so much. All I have to say is that I would feel a lot more sympathetic to their plight and need for human interaction if the meetings were held at someone's house.  Or a bar.  Someplace with alcohol.  I am much, much more open to listen to people drone on about inane topics when I've got a pleasant glow about my person.  This would dovetail nicely into the problem I have with EVENING PTA meetings which I refuse to attend on principle.  The principle being that it interferes with cocktail hour. I maintain that a Par-TAY-Association would be infinitely more popular and therefore would do a hell of a lot more good. Tipsy do-gooders are happy do-gooders.  And they want to come back and hang out with other happy, tipsy do-gooders.  Birds of a feather and all that.  Trust me. I know of what I speak. Cheers.

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