Dear Better Homes and Gardens,
My parents decided to leave at 8 am this morning rather than at 11. I'm no mathlete but I'm pretty sure that I've now got three hours less than I was banking on to prepare for their impending arrival. This being the case, the email you just sent me titled, "25 Fun and Festive Things to Do With Cranberries" was not met with enthusiasm. I've got my own list of things you can do with your cranberries. Would ya like to take a stab at number one? Bend over, please.