Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Rise and Shine
I have had a life-long habit of waking up ridiculously early. This morning, I have been reminded just exactly why that is. In my family, sleeping is apparently regarded as a weakness. Sleeping people are considered to be largely unproductive and are therefore of no use whatsoever. "ROOT HOG OR DIE!!!!!" is the family rallying cry, which I'm pretty sure is loosely translated as, "Get your lazy ass out of bed and make some damn money". I'm not exactly sure of that but as my dad made it up, that's a pretty good bet. The first person up (which historically has been my mother) is compelled to make as large a racket as is humanly possible. This involves singing at the top of your lungs, blaring televisions and running of garbage disposals. Oh, and clanging of pots. Bonus points for early morning vacuuming. You are looked at askance when inquiring as to why the smoke alarms need to be tested at 5 a.m. because OF COURSE they do. Safety first!!!! And I'm pretty sure she's dropping things in there on purpose. Okay, butterfingers......we get it. It's time to get up. It occurred to me that it would not surprise me at all if I woke up and my mom was standing there with one of those monkey's with the clapping cymbals. Me (bleary eyed): "Mom? What's up with the monkey?" Mom: "Monkey? What monkey? OH!!!! This monkey? I was just dusting him". Right next to my previously sleeping head. Of course you were. I freely admit that I too am guilty of these early morning antics. This has driven Dave crazy for twenty years. In his family of origin, people would tiptoe around even if it meant having to be quiet until noon so as not to wake up the last slumbering party. Screw that, I say. This simply would not stand where I come from. If I'm up, everybody needs to be up, damn it. Pay attention to me!!!! Do my bidding!!!!! Dance!!!! Do something funny!!!!! I don't know if it's something in my DNA or if that at some point I just decided to give in to it and go with the flow. Because unless you could sleep through what is virtually akin to a jackhammer of both noise and activity, resistance was an exercise in futility. Anyway, cock-a-doodle-do, everybody. Get up and at 'em. Around here, you don't really have a choice.