Okay, so we just unwrapped the 22 lb sensation that is our Butterball. Mom: (shrieking) "Goobie!!!! It's GOT A BRUISE!!!!!!!". This drew a crowd. As the family gathered 'round the kitchen sink to bear witness to this tragedy, we decided to simply name it after Mikhail Gorbachev and let it ride. Said blemish is largely reminiscent of the famous and unfortunate port wine stain on his head. I think it gives our turkey character. Gobble, gobble, Gorby!!!!!!