Saturday, November 28, 2009

The All Clear

Mom and Dad have been dispatched back to Arizona a bit earlier than expected.  Upon returning from my walk yesterday, I was greeted by Mom. "GOOOOBIEEE!!!!!  We've got PROBLEMS!!!!!".  Errrr.....reallly?  I hadn't noticed.  Apparently the problem in this case was that in my absence, Sam Champion from Good Morning America intimated that there was a possibility of snow in New Mexico over the weekend.  This set off a flurry of packing and checking of weather reports, and ultimately their untimely departure in spite of the fact that outside of Manhattan, Sam Champion does not know what the hell he is talking about.  And that's only because he's IN Manhattan.  It's snowing!!!! Duh.  That white stuff falling from the sky that we can see on our TV screens was our first clue.  And probably yours too, Sam.  Anway, I am thinking this is all probably for the best. They live in a gated community down there.  I'm not sure if the gates are to keep others out or the old people in.  If Dad decides to drive around inadvertently hopped up on something, there's only so much damage he can do.  Although considering what transpired with Tiger Woods the other night, perhaps I should reassess my position on that one.  I can hear the frantic phone call now......Mom: "Goobie!!!!!! Daddy drove the car into the pool!!!!"  Me:  "While I am honored that you chose to impart me with this information, Mom, the very fact alone that I am in Colorado and you are in Arizona precludes me from qualifying as a first responder in this instance.  You need to call somebody local.  Like 911.  As good as I am at getting people and cars out of swimming pools, we seem to have a logistics issue at hand".  Great.  Maybe Arizona isn't a safer place for them. At least they're better off there than they were in France. Anybody down there that doesn't speak English will at least comprehend "Senor" which is largely the extent of my Dad's Spanish vocabulary.  He does have this rather remarkable trick of slapping an "el" in front of an English word and an "o" at the end and then speaking with a purportedly Spanish accent.  This is inexplicably effective.  Dad:  "Hola, Senor......I seem to have driven el-car-o into el-pool-o".  Perhaps the reason this works so well for him is that he is often stating the obvious, which really requires no language at all.  At any rate, my parents have been safely restored to their own element.  We can all put down the nets until closer to Christmas when I will issue a warning.  "Jeffco residents above 6000' feet should be advised that there is a strong possibility of rain turning to Mollie's parents with heavy accumulations of Mollie's parents possible at times.  Travel may be difficult if not down right impossible.  Do your self a favor and just stay home until the all clear has been sounded. I think that'd be best.

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