Thursday, December 31, 2009

Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble

Holy Crap......I REALLY should not have been making fun of that deer with the shit on his head. I just had a humiliating little trip through the karmic car wash. Literally. I'm out running errands and increasingly feeling like I'm being slowly strangled. Just one of those largely frustrating procurement foray's in the name of holiday festivity. Every place I went I was fighting crowds. I almost had to take out an old man who was trying to cut in front of me in line for crab legs. Oh for fucks sake.....just because you're an old freakin' geezer does NOT mean you have a license to do whatever the hell you want. Now move it. Things were not much better at the "Party America" store where I was buying some fun stuff for Jack and his "manny" to ring in the New Year with. That was not relaxing. Anyway, my second to last stop was to wash my car. As my nerves were clearly jangled, I apparently pulled in off center. To cut to the chase, the washer-arm thingy becomes entangled in my passenger side mirror. This requires me to open my window to disentangle it. Water is spraying all over the inside of the car. I successfully got the thing off of my mirror somehow but the car wash stopped. Uhhhhh.......okay, car completely covered in suds. I figure I'll just rinse 'em off in one of the self-serve bays. Pull in.  I don't have any money!!!!! SOOOO, I'm driving down a main thoroughfare in a black car encased in white bubbles in search of another car wash (line had formed behind me at the first one......screw that) that takes plastic. You could SEE the people snickering as I drove by. Let me tell ya, it's impossible to look cool with freakin' bubbles all over your car. I may as well have written "I'm a dumbass" in the foam although that was not necessary as the spectacle I created pretty much spoke for itself. Anyway, I go to first gas station car wash. Pull card thing not working!!!! Of course!!!! Finally get to second gas station car wash (which involved more driving and subsequent laughter) and get the soap off of the car. Suffice to say I had a renewed sympathy for the poor deer. I had NO game in the bubble-mobile. Sheesh.

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