Friday, February 26, 2010

Rhino--Part Four

Okay. Now I'm finally back to Rhino. Having been in Jack's room cleaning, I've determined that the lingering odor permeating the air is simply pre-teen boy rather than festering hamster corpse. It smells more like an armpit than the heavy stench of decay. Not that an armpit isn't a heavy stench but the fact that it's not a hairy armpit helps. So I figure his room is going to start smelling worse before it gets better. Anyway, when we left off, Rhino was missing and presumed dead. There was no body at the funeral. We were fairly certain that he never left the confines of Jack's room and as we have a boiler-style heating system, there is no ventwork for the little guy to tunnel through. The room was quite thoroughly investigated. My theory was that Grady got him. I keep expecting the little thing to come up intact much like the socks he coughs up so unceremoniously. A little worse for the wear due to stomach acids but recognizable. Nothin'. So no smell, no body. Huh. Until last Sunday when Dave was pulling something out of a cupboard and said, "Is that what I think it is?" I was expecting the hamster formerly known as Rhino. Nope. Rodent droppings. I'm pretty sure we don't have mice. Or haven't since we've lived here. I think they were Rhino turds. I think Rhino is living the good life in our house. Humming the theme song to "Born Free". Probably takes his damn car out at night and races around kitchen only to go back into hiding at the crack of dawn. Food and drink shouldn't be a problem. We have a ten-year old who drops alot of food, sometimes in places that even Grady can't get to. And shit, I slosh enough wine and tequila around that Rhino is not just having his hydration needs met but is damn happy. If we DO have mice, he's probably leading them around the living room in a conga line. He's probably even got a little sombrero. I hope he's enjoying himself. Rock on, Rhino. Since it's Friday, I'll try to spill a little extra. 

1 comment:

  1. I take it the hamster pad is still empty in hope of his returning? Sounds like he'd be crazy to do so :) Why not leave his cage door open near that cupboard with some tempting stuff for him? Surely he'll turn up. Or... get Rhino no.2 and he'll come out fighing! hahaha