Thursday, February 11, 2010

Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold

Holy CRAP. School Valentine's Day party mayhem is in full swing. My problem is that I have a hard time delegating because I am a control freak of epic proportions. In this instance however, I accepted the kind offer of a fellow mom to make the "goodie bags". And thank God for that or I would have stuck my head in my sexy oven by now. I've got the plates, the napkins, the cups, the pop (bite me, mommies if you don't want your kids to have's the best I could do at the last minute), the cutsie little heart straws, etc. Last night I made 30 cupcakes and stuffed Jack's Valentine treat bags in between batches. Because nobody just gives the card anymore. Oh NOOOO. You've got to have candy and shit too. He also informed me that he needed to make a box for his Valentine's. WHAT????? YOU ARE TELLING ME THIS NOW WHY????? Fortunately his quick thinking father remembered seeing the box Jack made in second grade somewhere in his closet. Score. Solved that problem. Now I'm up to my ass in mini heart shaped pizzas. I'm doing this primarily to annoy the other mothers. Somebody made a wisecrack about me having "too much time on my hands" after a batch of rather spirited snowmen cupcakes were presented in kindergarten. Oh, and it got back to me. It has since been my life's mission to raise the bar ridiculously high strictly for the purposes of revenge. And to be annoyingly obnoxious. You could say I'm only hurting myself. Not so. I feel quite adequate. So I'm going to take my Lucky Brand Jean wearing ass to school and shake it all around in front of the haters. And I'm going bring my cupcakes and my pizzas and my pop and I'm going to rock the 4th grade Valentine's Day par-tay like it's never been rocked before. And then I'm going to come home and administer tequila intravenously. Will report back. And nope, I didn't forget that it's Thursday. What the F&*% is For Dinner will appear soon. Not sure what I'm going to throw at ya but rest assured it'll be delish. Smooches!

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