So while I was scrolling through pics, I found this one. Jack looks uneasy. With good reason. A few years ago we went to Steamboat over Labor Day weekend. I'm more of a Summit County gal, but what the hell. Something new, blah, blah, blah. One of the things it was recommended that we do was go the Strawberry Park Hot Springs. 'Kay. I'm game. It was pretty difficult to get to, so I figured it must be worth the ride. Got there. Yep.....really pretty. Pay our admission, grab our towels and off we go. Stop to look at the rules. "No children after dark". Um, that should have been our first clue that something was amiss. Oh, and did I forget to mention that clothing is "optional" after dark? I make a mental note to never visit this place at night because I have observed over time that the people who opt to not wear clothing are the very ones who really should remain as covered as is humanly possible. Anyway, we get in, we paddle about and move around from pool to pool......they are of varying temperatures and for awhile this was all just Jim-dandy. Until Jack says, "Mom......what's that?" OH. MY. GOD. It's a condom! A USED condom. "Well, Jack you see when a man and a woman love each other....." NOT. This conversation is NOT happening in this place and in this fashion. ALL CHRISTIE'S OUT. NOW. It seems that children are not allowed at night BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE SCREWING IN THE HOT SPRINGS. Cue the porn music. As one friend recently said, "Bow chicka bow bow". My question is WHY? Why can't you do this at home? Or in your own damn hot tub? Or if you like getting it on with other people present, join a freakin' swingers club or something. My God. I was just so grossed out. And don't even get me started on the logistics of it all. In the water? Barely out of the water? Over there on that rock? The pictures this brings to mind may well put me off of sex for the rest of my life. While recalling this horrific event, I went to the park's official website to see if it could shake anything else loose from the dusty corners of my brain where I store all of the disturbing shit. Under the FAQ section, I found this:
4. Q: What type of lighting should I expect at night? A: Very little. We seriously attempt to allow the pool setting to be as natural as possible. Little light means better star gazing (and scroinking) so please bring flashlights or headlamps (and an industrial sized pack of rubski's) if you are planning on staying after dark.
Let's see........towel.....check. Flashlight.....check. Box o' Trojans (ribbed, for her pleasure!)....check. All set? Let's go. Uh.....I think I'll pass. And I think I need to go rub my body in hand sanitizer. I still feel dirty. Stupid pictures.