Taurus

http://secretarysbreakroom.tumblr.com/post/494500982

No, this is not about the depressing car. It was recently brought to my attention that I may have a tendency to be a bit stubborn. ME? I am NOT stubborn. And if I have to stand right here in this very spot without food, water or a toilet for two weeks to prove it, I will do it. Oh, I'll do it alright. I'll poop my pants before I relent. Okay, so maybe I am a little stubborn. Just a smidge. See, I was born in early May. This makes me a Taurus. Generally speaking, I think astrology is a bunch of bullshit. You can read just about anything you want into it. "Ohmigod, ohmigod.....Joey must love me 'cause we're both earth signs with a moon rising!" Dude. Men are simple creatures. If you have to look up his sign to find out if he loves you, he doesn't. Get a grip. Slap, slap. If he's into you he will be following you around and doing your bidding with a goofy look on his face. It's highly entertaining, actually. But back to the astrology thing. There do seem to be some overwhelming characteristics attributable to birth signs. Take my mom. Please! I'm joking, mother......calm yourself. She's a Libra. She's all about the balance. Very fair, hates discord, wants everybody to get along at all cost. Where's the fun in that? She also wants to solve everybody's problems. And as I'm a bit of a walking, talking problem, we're perfect for each other! Anyway, I decided to look up Taurean characteristics. I had to find out if Joey loves me. He does. Yay. Here's the 411 on we Taurus chicks: We're capable. Yep, capable of causing a lot of trouble. That's fo sho. Our friends "may be a little weird" but they are not phonies or hypocrites. 'Cause you know, most of the other signs LOVE phonies and hypocrites. We do not consider social status when making friends and prefer people that do not hide their true nature and come across as they really are. No shit. Although my friends really do run the gamut. It's quite the colorful roster. Let's just say my parties are fun. Ugliness of any kind makes us miserable. Again, as opposed to people that really dig ugly shit. We like our homes, and are therefore homebodies. Kinda true. We're good cooks. I like to cook. We have a propensity to turn to fat if not careful. REALLY. I hadn't noticed. When pushed too far, we lose our demeanor quickly. This is true. You can push me and push me but once I've had enough I will lose my shit. And you do NOT want to be on the receiving end. I can provide you with witnesses to back this up if you'd like.  We don't like anything artificial. Silk flowers DO kinda give me a rash. Oh, and we are more "friends" to our kids than typical mommies. True dat. Jack's my lil' gangsta. Well, as much as a kid being raised on a golf course can be a gangsta. Word. What we have learned here today at Deep Thoughts is that I'm kind of an inflexible ass with weird friends. You don't say.