Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Old Guys in Jeans.....At the Gym

Okay, I am not really one to make fun of the elderly. Some of my favorite people could be considered such. Speaking of the elderly, my dad wants to make sure that all of you readers know that he has actually never driven his car into the pool.I believe the actual quote was, "People are going to think that your parents are crazy". And your point is? I didn't raise myself. As far as the car goes, it's really only a matter of time so I was taking a little poetic license. He's got a car, a pool and whole wine cellar thingy. It's gonna happen. Who knows? It could very well be me that drives the car into the pool. My dad and I are essentially the same person only of different genders and 25 years apart, so it's really anyone's guess as to who the perp will be. I just hope nobody is after us with a golf club when it happens. I don't want to go to rehab for sex addiction. Really, I don't. Granted, Tiger hit a tree but I'm willing to bet it's just 'cause his car was pointed away from the pool at the time. So there you go, Dad........I have cleared your good name. *Choking on wine.......he always was, and remains, a bit of a wild man* But back to the point of this missive. What is up (God......please shoot me if I start sounding Seinfeldian.....although Jerry isn't hurting for cash.....I could use some Seinfeldian scratch about now) with the old guys at my gym working out in jeans? JEANS? I cannot think of a more restrictive fabric. But there are a bunch of them. Were sweats not invented before 1940 and they think of them as some newfangled contraption for your lower body and are therefore highly suspect? I really don't get it. Although I guess jeans are better than boxers. Which is exactly what some poor old soul was riding an exercise bike in several months ago. This poor guy was clearly addled and had to be asked to leave. I hope they called his daughter. Because if MY dad was ever caught working out at a gym I would want to know. But knowing him, it wouldn't be because he was crazy. If my sainted mother had passed, he would FOR SURE be trying to pick up chicks. "Hellllooooooo, ladies."  I'd have to ground him. How embarrassing. But much like the car in the pool scenario, if mom goes first, it's only a matter of time.  

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