Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Boobquake.....The Aftermath


So, it seems that showing our boobs did not result in any unusual seismic activity, thus dispelling the Muslim clerics assertion that essentially boobs are the root of all evil and human suffering. Jen McCreight, the founder of the Boobquake movement is a scientist and has all kinds of graphs and charts on her blog today explaining it all. I'm just a housewife with a penchant for booze and naughty words. And a couple of useless degrees. But I've got YOU Deep Thoughts readers.....smooches. Here's what likely DID happen yesterday, what with all of that lovely cleavage on display all over the world: I'm sure there was a run on those idiotic looking cervical collars as SURELY a whole lotta men suffered from whiplash. There may have been increased emergency room activity as a bunch of guys walked into traffic having been distracted by a set of knockers. "Oh no! I've just been hit by a bus! But did you see the jugs on that broad?" And I'm also thinking that there were some gals out there that got out of speeding tickets a little more easily than usual. "My license, officer? Why I believe I'll have to bend over to retrieve it! Oh wait.....no, here it is! In my bra!" And in bedrooms all over the globe, surely there were even more husbands than usual pestering their wives for sex. You see, men are pretty simple creatures. It was best summed up in a book I read recently by Dr. Louann Brizendine called "The Male Brain". In it, she describes "The Man Trance".  It explains a LOT. "All that testosterone drives the "Man Trance"--that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts. As a woman who was among the ranks of the early feminists, I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates. Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods. To a man, this is the most natural response in the world, so he's dismayed by how betrayed his wife or girlfriend feels when she sees him eyeing another woman. Men look at attractive women the way we look at pretty butterflies. They catch the male brain's attention for a second, but then they flit out of his mind. Five minutes later, while we're still fuming, he's deciding whether he wants ribs or chicken for dinner. He asks us, 'What's wrong?' We say, 'Nothing." He shrugs and turns on the TV. We smolder and fear that he'll leave us for another woman". Innerestin', huh ladies? Who knew we could entrance with nothing more than our boobs? I didn't realize the power these babies had. I'm going to start tapping into this shit! I am rife with power and never knew it! Is there anything they can't do? No villainous force they cannot thwart with one simple flash of flesh? Boobs for President, I say!!!!! Oh wait. They've already tried that. 

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