Okay, so my friend decides that because of the above blog entry it would be freakin' HILARIOUS if she bid on a waxing service in my name at the school silent auction. Ha, ha. I didn't really think much of it until The PTA Board meeting on Tuesday when the President slid the winning gift card across the table to me. Okay. What in the ASS am I going to do with a $30 waxing gift card? So I start looking around. Brows seem fine. They are separate and reasonably shaped entities. Lip looks pretty good. Buttocks? That service is actually available and is NOT listed under "Men's Body Waxing" so I'm thinking there must be some chicks out there with hairy asses. From what I can ascertain (no pun intended) I'm good. There's really not much left to wax. Since I am going to Arizona for spring break, I decided I would check out the dreaded bikini region. Okay, it's looking a little unkempt. I will concede that given the fact that I am going to be sporting a swimsuit in a couple of days, I could use a waxin'. So I'm going this afternoon. I haven't had this done since the person asked me "what I wanted" 12 years ago. I am a little nervous. What if the waxer (is that what they're called?) looks at me and is horrified? What if she calls in the other waxers to take a look? Is there a code word for "Jesus H. Christ......you've got to see the untamed monkey bush on this broad?" Oh, and what if it's a DUDE? Hmmm. Maybe my eyebrows DO need some attention.