First of all, be very wary of what you promise a kid during cocktail hour. I told Jack and Libby that I saw these Club Penguin stuffed animals while out and about and that OF COURSE I would get them each one of the f'ers. I had taken a short-cut through Sears and this is where they caught my eye. WHY I had to mention this fact to Thing One and Thing Two I have NO CLUE. It was apparently the waistline enhancing wine doing the talking. But of course, every day this week, it's been "MOM, DID YOU GET THE PENGUINS?" Um, no? So today I had to run to Target because I was panicking about the recent development of what is known in my family as a "gozzler" aka "turkey neck". It may not be detectable to the naked eye, but it's there my friends.......it's there. Anyway, I figured Target may have something for the formerly fabulous sagging neck. I was in a hurry as it's my day to drive Jack and his buddy to lacrosse practice but I had enough time to not just go to Target but also pop into Sears for the damn penguins. Or so I thought. I run in, grab the things and look around for a place to check out. Oh, there's one! With a huge line. WHO IN THE HELL SHOPS AT SEARS? Apparently I do. And so do these 15 other people in line at the one open register. And, the WORLD'S CHATTIEST OLD LADY is at the helm. Look, I appreciate an effort at being nice but the best time to make small talk is NOT when you have a huge line of people. She seemed to really want to make each customer feel "special". I don't want to feel special. I want to pay and get the hell out of there. I leave it to the people in my life I actually KNOW to make me feel special. I seriously thought I was going to kill myself by the time it was my turn to pay. And then she starts chatting ME up. It's like, "Look. It's bad enough that I'm at Sears because I promised my son and his best friend these stupid ass penguins after having a couple (okay, SEVERAL) glasses of wine. I really just want to leave. I know you don't really understand this whole Club Penguin thing, 'cause you just told me that in great detail. What I really want is my receipt, the flightless birds and what's left of my dignity". I DID finally make it out of there, having fulfilled one alcohol fueled promise. I'm sure it won't be the last. Stupid wine.