Tanks for Nuttin'

I guess it should be pointed out that the reason I abandoned ship and relinquished my bed this morning was not simply because I was being crowded out by the tweens and the Very Poopy Puppy. Let me back up a little.......I'm not really sure how ANY of them got into my bed in the first place. Reminiscent of college! Joking, Dad. I was too busy with my nose in a book to find myself in any morally questionable situations lo those nine studious years. Anyway, Dave was playing, I was tired and the kids were not. I told them that I was going to bed and to use some common sense about hitting the sack at a somewhat reasonable hour and to wake me up if the house was on fire. Granted, these are the clowns that let the hamster out. What can I say? I was tired and my judgement may have been impaired. At some point it was determined by the Think Tank Twins that they would pile in with me. Whatever. Grady obviously hopped on up too. What the hell? Anybody else? C'mon in. I apparently do not appear to have boundaries. So I wake up to legs and paws and kids all over the bed. Oh, but what ELSE to my wondering eyes did appear but freakin' piles of FEATHERS all over the place. Seems that Grady seized the opportunity to do a little nocturnal redecorating. Apparently he determined that my BRAND NEW duvet cover needed some alteration. Chewed a hole right through not just the cover but the down comforter. The kids, witnessing this, woke me during REM sleep or something because they said I told them to not let him "eat the button" 'cause he'd choke. Part of me wishes he would have. Gee, thanks, Grade......I really LIKED the old, shitty duvet cover and the purchase of the nice new one was ill-advised. Thank you for pointing out the error of my ways. You're the greatest. That iron-on patch like the one my mom used to put on my Toughskins (yes, they made those for girls, too....) sure looks fancified on my bed linens. You rock.