And a One and a Two.......

As we were attempting to walk Grady this morning, Jack said, "Mom, I wish Coalie would just come back down from heaven and save us from this beast". We always said that we felt bad for whatever dog came after Coal as he truly was the best dog ever, even as a puppy. Never chewed a shoe, destroyed anything, always came when called, never really even barked. The thought of him consuming a sock is laughable. The ONE THING he did was actually pretty hilarious, although I don't think my dad would agree. Coal, also a black lab (duh), could not stand the sound of two-stroke engines. When Dave would try to mow the lawn with him outside, he would go freakin' nuts and try to attack the mower which wasn't really all that bright if you think about it, whirling blades of death and all. We moved to a house around the time he was two, however, where the lawn was mowed for us by a professional service with the big ol' ride- behind mowers which bothered him not at all. Problem solved, right? Well, kinda. Around the time he was eight and somewhat settled into his big ol' dog ways, we were, as was usual in the summer, up at the family cottage. The only trouble he ever got into up there was to work up a nasty lake water stink after a time which largely offended the olfactory senses of anyone with the misfortune to be within whiffing distance. It was pretty bad but trying to keep him out of the lake was futile, so we (and by "we" I mean Dave) handled it with frequent deodorizing baths. By all accounts, he was a pretty pleasant dude to have around. One day, my mom gets a burr up her ass about power-washing the dock. So out comes dad with the power-washer. I know I didn't think anything of it and obviously neither did Dave. Um, that thing has a two-stroke engine. We're all just standing around. So is Coal. Dad bends over, pulls the cord, lets 'er rip annnnnddddd...........Coal goes nuts.  His rather unfortunate target? Dad, who bellows, "THAT GOD DAMN DOG JUST BIT ME IN THE ASS!!!!!!!!!" 'Tis true. He did. We were all laughing our OWN asses off but Dad didn't think it was all that funny. Of all of the asses in the world to bite, my Dad's is probably on the short-list of asses to just leave the hell alone. I know I wouldn't try it. You don't want to get on his bad side. Jack still thinks it's one of the best stories he's got in his ten-year old arsenal and having been there, I have to agree that it's pretty good. The look on his face.......his eyes bulging out of his head....the tear in his sweat pants......it was priceless.  Sorry Dad, I know it was your ass and all but it WAS pretty freakin' funny. The one very bad act of a very good dog. The ass-bite that will live in infamy.