Can It Be Tomorrow Now?

If school did not start tomorrow I believe I would be in serious peril of being carted off in a straight jacket. One more, "Hey MOM!" and I think I may completely lose my shit. Yes, I KNOW I only have one child. It's a cumulative thing. He's been off since December 18th. We have not gone on a relaxing vacation with a change a scenery and shiny diversions. We've been right here. Losing rodents and thinking up ways to break up the monotony. If I hear the sounds of one more Cartoon Network show (I'm gonna strangle Sponge Bob, I think) or the pinging sounds of another video game, I am going to strip down to my skivvies and go running through the streets 'cause that's how close to the edge I am. Lacking siblings, my child is fighting with THE DOG. Little furry guy? Eats his own poop? Yep. That's him. "MOM!!!!!! GRADY BIT/HAS/DID (insert offense here)." I really am trying. I've got a really, really cool kid and I adore him. I just can't it take anymore. I've got that tightly measured voice and even tighter smile thing going that just barely masks your slipping sanity. "Yes dear?". My lip is literally split from biting it an attempt to maintain my composure. With the exception of New Year's Eve and the few walks I've been able to sneak in I can't remember the last time Jack and I were apart. Because Dave has gone back to work today, I thought I'd kill a few birds with one stone and get my walk in while burning off some excess Jack and Grady energy. Well, walking Grady is like walking a tiger except a tiger is probably better on leash. And Jack was out of breath. And had his hand down his pants. When asked if he needed to go to the bathroom he stated that he was just checking to make sure his "balls were still there". Then he was hot. So I'm huffing up the hill carrying a winter coat, trying to control a beast not capable of such and encouraging a boy (and his balls!) to make it the last few yards home. I am seriously regretting my vow of sobriety at this point. Maybe AFTER school starts.