Close Shave

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80v5Wueed10

Watch the video. Then come back. You watched it? Good. Okay, either this is freakin' brilliant or it is one of the worst ads ever made. If it's tongue in cheek, I want to be best friends with whoever came up with it. However Dave insists that it's totally serious as he can't see Barbasol having some cutting edge advertising agency. And if he's right, there's just SO much wrong here........let's see......where to begin? 

--First of all, we've got the guy cruising along in his big-rig to a jaunty little tune. By the time he runs his hand through his stubble, it's very apparent that this is one very hairy and very bad actor. Conversely, if this is a spoof, he should win whatever the ad equivalent of an Oscar is as it's a worthy performance. You'd have to be really good to be that bad. 

--He gets home from his hemorrhoid inducing trip across America. His lady leaves him a note next to a can of Barbosol! "Welcome home, handsome!" I personally would have added, "You big, hairy beast" but that's just me. So  he reads the note. But first he's got to do some serious shaving before he gets all up in that. Question: How does he know she didn't have something else entirely in mind when she left out that can of shaving cream? He's been on the road awhile. Mommy might be feeling REALLY frisky. And experimental.

--So he's shaving. I'm sure it took awhile. I will hand it to the guy......he can grow a beard. So he's got that going for him. The acting thing, not so much. Perhaps there's a market for beard models. That's the direction I would point him in if I was his agent. Anyway, he finishes shaving and the look he gives himself is priceless. He may as well give himself the double thumbs up or the "You the MAN" trigger finger thing. 

--May I point out that the whole time, there is a really bad jingle playing? The same one he was driving along to? "America, you're looking good.....you're handsome, brave and tall". HUH???? WTF??? What about the Americans that are homely, nervous and short? They need to shave too, I would think. This is just going to make them feel inadequate. Worst lyrics ever. Just ridiculous. So ridiculous that we've been singing them over and over at Casa de Christie. Method behind madness? Marketing genius at work?

--Okay, so our formerly hirsute friend, suitably clean shaven, is going in for the kill. He walks into the room where his woman awaits, wearing HIS SHIRT??? Okay. Whatever. Nothing is as fucked up as what comes next.....she's lighting candles next to A STACK OF PANCAKES. That's right. Pancakes. 'Cause nothin' says "good lovin'" like a stack of flapjacks. Oh, and there's orange juice. Now, I am clearly no trucker. I may have a mouth like one, but I've never been behind the wheel of anything larger than a Ford Expedition. I have, however, driven cross-country on far too many occasions to count. With a dog and a child. We've had some good 12 hour driving days. I can tell you this.......when I get out of that car, I DO NOT WANT PANCAKES. I WANT BOOZE. FROM AN IV DRIP. AND LOTS OF IT. Pancakes????

So there you go......brilliant or simply brilliantly bad? I'm still not sure. Pancakes? It's so fucked up that it's GOT to be a joke. But then I think about the actor......God......I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. And I'm usually so decisive. This has me over a barrel. Or a big-rig as the case may be. America, you're lookin' good......la, la, la........