Think Fast

Silent Auction fun is now in the rearview mirror. While I still regret missing the opportunity to make a spectacle of myself and tell those with sticks ensconced in their asses to f%&* off, I am at peace with it. It's onward and upward. Now the only things I have left to do are file a membership report, help with the talent show (a bunch of elementary school students......now THAT'S gonna be rich), plan the end of the year golf tournament AND pull a Valentine's party out of my ASS. In two days. I've done, um........nothing? As with the silent auction item, I am completely burned out. I jumped into this thing in kindergarten with what I'm quite was sure was rather annoying enthusiasm. As much as I can't stand gung-ho people, I was pretty much one of 'em. People hating on my cupcakes, etc. Whatever. If you want to hate on cupcakes, make them yourself, beyotch. Anyway, I've got this party for the fourth graders on Thursday. They're at a weird age where crafts are starting to get a little lame and I do believe I cashed in the BINGO chip at the Chriswanzakah party in December. And I think I'm going to have mutiny on my hands if I try "Pin the Arrow on the Cupid" one more time. I don't want the little shits hurling things at me. And while I may refer to them as "shits" I want to be very clear that I have a great deal of affection for about 90% of these children. We will not discuss the other 10% who shall remain nameless. But whom cause me to bite my tongue to the point of bleeding and muster what limited self-control I posess. So I'm going way out on a limb. Food and karaoke. It's a major gamble because if they don't bite, I'm going to be up there singing, "I Got You Babe" and "Muskrat Love" with Dave. I'm putting my money on the fact that a lot of these kids are very confident sorts. Hams, even. I've also got a mom that's got a sure-fire game, so at least I'll have that in the can. Anyway, this could be a freakin' disaster of epic proportions or the best thing ever. I just hope I emerge with my dignity in tact.  What's that? I've never had any? Nevermind. I just hope I emerge.