Big Gulp

Holy crap, I forgot to post yesterday. Now THERE'S something you don't see too often. I'm not surprised as the day started out at like 4 am with me wide awake in bed and freaking out about everything I had to do. So instead of freaking out horizontally, I decided to get vertical. As I've said before, it's amazing what you can accomplish when the rest of the house is sleeping. Alas, they eventually woke up and the morning mayhem ensued. Gave the boy clothes, Dave got him breakfast, I packed his (delicious and nutritious) lunch and went downstairs to check email. Hear screaming. "OH MY GOD GRADY HAS TWO SOCKS!!!!!" Fuck. Dave is nowhere in sight. Doesn't take long to figure out where he is. Nothin' like a nice 45 minute poop during the busiest time of the day. I'm running. Jack's running. Grady's running. Grab a bag of pepperoni thinking that tasty processed meat will do the trick. Wave it in his direction. Oh, it works. Before I can grab his little snout, he looks at me and in ONE GULP swallows both socks. Whole. Fucker. If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it. He's like a freaking snake. Obviously he didn't get the pepperoni. Jack did. Good boy, Jack. So, Dave eventually emerges from his man cave. It is determined that part of the trouble with Grady is that he needs to get more ya ya's out. We decided that BOTH of us will take Jack to school and then proceed to take Grady to a dog park. Get half-way to school and Jack announces that he's left his violin at home. Don't get too excited. He's not a prodigy. He and his buddies realized that you get out of class if you take orchestra. Orchestra is powerful popular this year. Anyway, can't turn around 'cause he'll be tardy. Drop him off, go home, get damn violin, realize this minor glitch has thrown my schedule completely out of whack so Dave proceeds back to school with forgotten instrument and then to dog park. Grady, faced with freedom, decides that he is going to sit within two feet of Dave and not move. Sure, you'll eat a metal down spout but other dogs? Not so much. Eventually he warmed up to the idea and started going nuts. So nuts that he ran face first into a tree, cutting his head in the process. The good news is that either the exercise or the head injury did the trick. Grady wasn't much trouble for the rest of the day. My day, however, was just getting started. More on that later. Oh, and yes, you're getting your WTF's For Dinner today. Mexican Lasagna. Good shit. Stay tuned.