Biography

So, Jack has a big "Biography" project "he's" been working on. I say "he" because at the age of ten, it's really "we". And of course here at Christieco, we are masters in the art of procrastination. There was a bit of panic this morning as Dave produced the sheet detailing the requirements and scale of this project. We did the rough draft, which largely involved Jack dictating facts about Walt Disney to me as I typed them. Next up is revising the report, which should be no biggie. There is however, a visual project and a speech involved as well. The speech is not a thing as Jack is a natural. No fear. The "project" however, is problematic. I said on facebook this morning that every time a visual aid comes into play, I die a little inside. Jack doesn't go for the obvious choices such as, "draw a picture". NOOOOO. He goes for "diorama" or "replica". I've avoided naysaying up to this point but the time has come to crush his little spirit. Ambition really IS for suckas. And I'M the sucka that usually ends up creating these visuals. I'm not a competitive parent. I don't really give a shit whose visual is the best. I just know that if I don't do it it won't get done. Jack is the type of kid that needs to concentrate on the basics, like the report. School does not come easily to him. And to his credit, HE is the one that comes up with these elaborate schemes. I, however, am the one that has to implement them. For instance, the last book report he did was from that "Goosebumps" series. He wanted to do an underwater diorama. I'm feeling light-headed just thinking about that one. You don't even want to know. It was apparently quite well received, so I've got that going for me. I'd be an excellent fourth grader. My heart nearly dropped out of my ass this morning when I heard the plan he's hatched for the Disney deal. Something about replicating "Tomorrow Land". First of all, "Tomorrow Land" Tomorrow Sucks. I don't if Jack recalls but the last time we were there we became trapped in the "Carousel of Progress". We didn't make much progress. At all. For like 20 minutes. That'll drive you to drink. Oh, and it did. It drove me right back to The  Wilderness Lodge's poolside bar. Secondly, I hope I was hearing things but I could have sworn he was thinking of making this replica out of toothpicks. TOOTHPICKS? Fine. Just set the toothpicks, the glue and the bottle of tequila out on the table and run along and play. Mommy will call you when she's done. With the tequila. Did I say that out loud? Hello, everybody! Hic! I can just see myself covered in glue and toothpicks but with a rather happy disposition. That's the way I roll from now on. Oh wait......what's that you say? That's how I roll anyway? Fine. That's how I'll continue to roll. Stupid projects.