Thursday, June 3, 2010

Target Practice

I'm pretty sure that I've written about this topic before but it's reared its ugly head again and is such a black (or yellow as the case may be) mark on the Y chromosome that it bears revisiting. I was out on my constitutional walk this morning and ran into a friend of mine. She said, "Hey Mol......I've got something for you to write about on your blog......WHY can't men/boys manage to get their pee into the toilet?" Good question and one I've asked on innumerable occasions as I live with an eleven-year old boy and a 42-year old man. One is no better than the other, so this is not a phenomenon that improves with age. What is so freaking hard about pointing something at a reasonably sized target and firing at close range? Do they completely lose control of their bodies and their wiener is  spraying around like a fire-hose or something? Because in my mind, that's exactly what must transpire for urine to end up not only all over the toilet but the floor and in some cases, the walls. We KNOW it's pee. When your paper towel comes up yellow, the jig is up. One of my male friends said, "Why don't YOU try to pee standing up?" Um, not so much. Sitting down pretty much ensures that my business is going to get where it needs to go. And that's as I like it. I suggest that if you are a boy or a man and cannot control yourself, you have a seat. Gravity will take care of the rest. And if you insist on standing there and the ol' trouser snake is not cooperating then clean up after your bad self. You know, if guys started sitting down when they peed, it would be pretty freakin' funny to go into the bathroom in the middle of the night and leave the toilet seat up. Turn about is fair play. Ahhh, to have Dave experience the ol' midnight dunk tank/ass baptism........precious moments. 

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