Thursday, June 10, 2010
I am going to a wedding this weekend. What is strange about that is that I haven't been to one in a long time. You have that initial flurry of everybody getting married in their mid-twenties through mid-thirties and then it's all about the babies. I have a strange suspicion however that a new flurry is about to start up. Second marriages. I am seeing unions dropping like freaking flies right about now. People in their early forties that are checking out of Marriage Numero Uno. I have heard about THREE couples separating just this week. Not sure what it's about. I think a lot of first marriages are the result of people meeting in college. Which from my vantage point seems pretty damn young. It didn't at the time of course. We were all fucking mature geniuses that knew EVERYTHING. And it must be said that a shit load of water flows under the bridge during the first half of your life. Jobs (well, if you're the job-having sort), kids, buying houses, getting established. That all takes a great deal of attention and teamwork. You're pushing a big-ass rock uphill together by necessity. As time goes by, the rock either changes or becomes smaller or splits apart and eventually you may find that either one of you is pushing less hard or you are pushing different rocks altogether. Or you're both just suffering from rock pushing fatigue and have checked out altogether. That's the only way I can explain why all of a sudden all of these seemingly strong marriages are coming apart at the seams. Shit, look at Al and Tipper! Forty years! Although I have long maintained that Al is gayer than gay. Forty years is a long time to be a beard. I mean, we all saw the "kiss", right? Gack. NO THANK YOU. But Big Gay Al notwithstanding, it really does seem epidemic right now. They always said that 50% of marriages end in divorce. That seems about right from what I'm seeing, and maybe even a little light. That being said, there are marriages that make it. I don't want to go into this weekend casting a negative light on two DARLING kids that are in L-O-V-E. It's pretty cute. And hopeful. There are marriages that work. My own dear parents have been married for nearly 44 years. As I'm fairly certain my dad is not gay I'm pretty sure they will stay that way. I would bet the family farm on the fact that my mom will never hear my dad say, "Rose.....I've got something to tell you. I'm gay. That's right......I love men. I'm sorry". It's not to say that there were not big-ass bumps along the way but somehow THEY have not only managed to stay married for all of this time but actually seem to like each other. So maybe there's hope for us all. My parents. Poster children for marriage. Who'd have thunk it? So I salute you, Rose and Bill. And everybody else that is managing to stay married. It ain't for the faint of heart. But much like drinkin', if it was easy, every fool would be doing it.