Friday, May 7, 2010

Baby Booze Fest

A friend of mine is having a baby. Yes, smart-asses, I have friends that are still reproductively viable. I'm pretty sure I could still pop one out myself in a pinch. I'm not sure what kind of condition it would be in but it could happen. Might have two heads but that may well land me in People magazine. Top that, Octo-Bitch! Although the very thought of going back into "baby-mode" is enough to send shivers up my spine. Even with a one-headed baby. That being said, it's cool when OTHER people have babies. To that end, I went to see said friend at work yesterday afternoon to discuss her baby shower. Long story but her close friend had called me saying that she wanted to throw two just for girls and another more casual co-ed version. I was involved because my house was a possible venue for the former. When I got to her place of employment, (which conveniently for me is the local watering hole) she looked decidedly uneasy about the whole shower thing, particularly the idea of the chick-fest. Okay, I immediately understood exactly why it is that I like this girl. I HATE BABY SHOWERS. I know I'm supposed to love them but I just don't. I refused to have one when I was pregnant with Jack. That didn't go over very well. It seems that people really, really want to do this for you. So much so that there was a "surprise" shower in the works for me. Now, if you know me, you know that the only thing I hate more than baby showers is surprises. But I digress. The idea of sitting there and playing dumbass games and having to open presents in front of people and ooooh and ahhhhh over tiny little things gives me a mutha-scratchin' rash of epic proportions. Not to mention the guest of honor can't drink, has a human being sitting on her bladder and is probably pretty cranky but has to smile and be all perky and shit. No thanks. Maybe I am just not that girlie. I was once told by a male friend that I'm "girlie enough" which I guess is a compliment. I like clothes but I don't like shopping. I like eating but I'm not that nuts about going out for lunch and chit-chatting. And I am really not a fan of the coffee date, probably because I don't like coffee. The idea of a "girls-weekend" used to be highly unappealing but that was before I met some girls that I would actually care to spend a weekend with. And some gay men. A "gay-men and girls" weekend would be a blast. But anyway, back to me hating babies........errrr.......I mean baby showers. I say we invite a bunch of cool people, (girls AND boys) pour some delightful cocktails (none for you, on board and all that), bring presents and have a big ol' baby booze fest. Now THAT is something I can get behind. Start 'em young. Hey! I may have just created a niche for myself.......Baby Booze Fests by Mollie!!!!!! Genius. 

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