Fear Factor

So, the remainder of my birthday went just fine. Awesome dinner made just for me by Charlie at the Blue Cow in Morrison (yay, Charlie!) with good friends topped it all off. Now it's on to full-on anxiety about my upcoming surgery. I've had surgery before. I know what's going to happen. I'm not really sure why I'm freaking out so much about a few little incisions made to my knee while I'm out like a light. Particularly considering the fact that I had an 8 pound baby boy extracted from my uterus while my innards lay next to me and I was completely lucid. "Just a little pressure" my ASS. I know what you're doing down there. If it's "just a little pressure", take down the freakin' screen!!!!! And because I was completely with it, I know for a fact that "Holiday" by Madonna was playing in annoying fashion while I was being flayed open like a halibut on a wharf in the name of childbirth. So really, my fears are unfounded. When you're not giving birth, they give you the shot of whatever it is that makes you so damn happy that you could be informed that your head was going to be lopped off and you'd be cool with it. It's the build-up to the event that's worse than the procedure itself. "What if I'm the one in a million that dies on the table?" Because you know, people die from minor knee surgery all the time. Completely irrational when someone else says it but when it's you, it's there in the back of your mind. Lurking. Grim Reaper and all. And if I do live, knowing that I'm going to have to sit on a couch for a day or two is not all that exciting to me. I don't do well with sitting around. Maybe the pain pills will make me think that loafing around like a stoner is a capital idea. Probably not though. Alrighty then........I've got to go do some worrying.