Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Adult ADHD

Wow! Hi blog! Long time, no see. I've been a little busy. Taking a cosmic crap of self-awareness is a big job. And thirsty work! I'm not really sure why the turd in question was "cosmic" per se. That just sounds profound and all outer-spacey. Wheeeee. This summer was a bit of a bitch. Nothing every other formerly fabulous forty-something ISN'T going through right now but since I'm me, it sucked a bit more. It's all, "Waah, waah, waah, poor you" until it's actually, So anyway, since everybody thought I was losing my shit, I was strong-armed......I mean it was gently recommended that I "talk to someone". To shut everybody up, I did. I pretty much figured the doctor would give me a bunch of psycho-babble bullshit about how damaged I am and tell me I needed years of therapy. Cha-ching, right? In one of the bigger shockers of my life (and trust me, I've had plenty......and no, I am not referring to "THE" Shocker, pervs) in less than about twenty minutes, she looked at me and said, "Has it ever occurred to you that you might have ADHD?"!!!!! I just thought I was a spaz! So, I did some reading about it. Lightbulb. Among the little symptomatic gems? Oh, let's see: 

* Poor organizational skills. Ya think? If you've ever opened one of my cabinets and been hit in the head with a precariously placed object, you would agree. MOM. 

* Trouble starting and finishing projects. I think this includes having a job. Check.

* Constantly losing or misplacing things. Now, I'm sure you're all saying, "Sure Mol, everybody does this". I lose CARS. And children. Sometimes at the same time. Actually that's not true. I think telling big lies and exaggerating is a symptom also. 

* Frequently talk over others and interrupt them. NOOOOOOO. But I'm so fucking interesting!!!!!!

* Blurt out thoughts that are rude or inappropriate without thinking. At this point, I'm starting to think this therapist chick may be on to something. As if the other shit wasn't as plain as the nose on my face.

* Have addictive tendencies. Okaaaayyyyyyy.........I've got it.........I've got it bad........

* Have trouble behaving in socially appropriate fashion such as sitting still during meetings. Or in college classrooms.........or talking to boring people..........

I could go on and about feelings of agitation, irritability, getting bored easily (reference previous sentence), not dealing well with frustration, easily feeling stressed out, talking excessively, blah, blah, blah. Okay, like I said, where do I sign? Well, here's the deal.......I took the test and it strongly indicated that I have it. Again, doi. You have two options: therapy to help you cope with your symptoms or drugs. I don't want to cope. I want the pills. So it was prescribed. The therapist basically told me I needed to be able to think straight before I could tackle the other crap like how fucked up I am. According to my thorough research in which I read exactly what I wanted to read on the world wide web, if you don't actually have ADHD and take Ritalin, which is essentially speed, you will act like, well, like you're on speed. I had first hand knowledge of this when it was suspected awhile back that Jack may have some attentional issues. We tried the drugs and you may as well have just wound the kid up and let him fly around the room. I remember driving him to school and thinking, "Holy shit......I love you, kid but if you don't stick a cork in it, I may well drive off of the road". So that was that. No drugs for him. With me, however, it seems to be working. It slowed me down. A little. And there are no socks in my pantry. Granted, the ones on my feet don't match but I've got 'em in the right vicinity. AND it seems that I can actually sit still for long enough to write my blog. You may ask yourself how in the ass I was able to do it for as long as I did if in fact I have this terrible disease. It's a little thing called "hyper-focus". I was really interested in it. And then I got bored. And couldn't sit still. And was irritable. And had trouble staying motivated. Oh, but I am medicated and motivated now. Just like the napkins with the crazy housewife on 'em say. So, even though you're all out of the habit of reading my ramblings, get back in it. Please. I think being bossy is one of the symptoms. Where are my pills?!?! Probably in the car. Fuck. 


  1. Hi Molls, (may I call you Molls? Don't answer that, I don't care, I got ADD too and I'm just going to keep typing while you try to interrupt me).

    Welcome to the club. The membership requirements are a real bitch, but the company you get to keep is worth it.


  2. QUOTE: if you don't actually have ADHD and take Ritalin, which is essentially speed, you will act like, well, like you're on speed UNQUOTE

    Which is cool! so now you know for sure, you and Jack.
    Missed you.