Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Bat Mom

In an attempt to engage with my eleven-year old son (ie. drag him away from X-Box and drag myself away from the wine) I suggested that we play a game while dinner was in the oven last night. Shockingly, he agreed. Most of you who read Deep Thoughts regularly are aware that the child is a bit of a........shall we say.......wiseacre? Okay, he's a smart-ass. Therefore I take most everything that comes out of his ever-lovin' mouth with a grain of salt and armed with my sarcasm shield. So as we're playing our lively game of dominoes, Jack says, "Hey Mom! Remember when I was little and our class went to the zoo and you got bitten by that bat?!" I was waiting for the punch line. No punch line was forthcoming. Me: (still suspicious) "Yes, Jack.......I remember now.......we were in the Bat House at the Denver Zoo. You know......where they let bats (mostly rabid) fly around????" It's a real kid crowdpleaser!!!!! And then that REALLY BIG ONE became insnared in my hair and then bit me on the neck and started sucking all of my blood out???? And I started running around screaming, 'GET IT OFF!!!!!! GET IT OFF!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY GET THIS KILLER BAT OFF OF MY NECK!!!!!!!!'. And then they evacuated the zoo and the monkey's got loose and a bunch of people were trampled and they took me by Flight For Life to the hospital where I remained clinging to life for months????? That time????". Jack: "I guess I remembered it wrong". Dave (who was within earshot): "You drew two little dots on your neck and told him you were attacked by a bat at the zoo when he was in kindergarten". Oops. 

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